The great grand old man(not iron) of our company(not India) had asked me to wait till 9pm to clear off his pending work and lo! it starts raining, I had an appointment with Dr at 9.30pm and now how do I make it? Without thinking much I pack from office escaping the clutches of the ever green banyan tree.
Puff Puff and here I come across
Someone - Why could you not carry an umbrella with you
This one - You will fall ill and only then would you realise
That one - You could have waited till the rain stopped
Which one -You could have asked your roomate for help
Somebody - You could have asked your boss for a drop
But my Dr, who was waiting with a towel asked the rain
You could have waited till my patient reached me.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
A Call, A Girl and A Dr.
8th March, Sunday, 11am, I drag myself out from bed, picking up newspaper. What’s wrong with the supplement pages – photographs of women from cross section of society, yes it Women’s day and I was flipping through women’s day special supplement.
Whoosh – it reminds me of her. We got introduced over a social networking site. Click click click follows and even more click click lucky me, what a ‘horse power smile’, all if rated were not to be less than 8.5 out of 10. Thud Thud dap dap dape thud thud thud I’m floored and on the floor, Dr. suggest an ancient therapy involving eye ‘SAVE’ for coming out of my current state of Twist and Perplexion (W&M syndrome in Dr.'s language)!
One fine day I call her and she says, let’s join for Salsa classes from tomorrow, butterfly in my stomach but I dare not say ‘No’ to the salsa classes. I take solace that I would know if I’m a duck or an eagle. Booooo! Am scared of hospital, Dr. advises bed rest for a month!
Another fine day, I call her up and she raises a toast to what I spoke, latter did I realize what I spoke ‘hi, hello, how are you. Hope all well there, here all in the well too’!
Yet another day, I call her she say’s she busy with her ‘mother-in-law’ in some engagement ceremony!
I call her up the same day evening and she asks me to come to Indoor stadium for badminton. She tells me ‘Run every day, you are no good for game’. “I go for runnings these days as well as coaching’s, to improve my pathetic form and Dr., I may soon die from having no air to breathe”!
I call her and she ask me to write down a poem about her and in reply I get Dear @#$%, Go to!#@#@98*&^, you dumb %)*&^W)*&. @#”*(! &^E. >) @!)!@*&^(*!&#!M<<,:.!
I call her she say’s lets meet over a coffee. While having coffee I ask for sugar and lo! She says no sugar for me and tells me that she’s got a ‘call’.
Mother Mary – please save me. She now says she is a new leaf. What do I do?
Meeting my Dr. without permission, I mean without an appointment does not seem to be a nice idea for a gentle man like me on a Sunday that too on Women’s day.
Whoosh – it reminds me of her. We got introduced over a social networking site. Click click click follows and even more click click lucky me, what a ‘horse power smile’, all if rated were not to be less than 8.5 out of 10. Thud Thud dap dap dape thud thud thud I’m floored and on the floor, Dr. suggest an ancient therapy involving eye ‘SAVE’ for coming out of my current state of Twist and Perplexion (W&M syndrome in Dr.'s language)!
One fine day I call her and she says, let’s join for Salsa classes from tomorrow, butterfly in my stomach but I dare not say ‘No’ to the salsa classes. I take solace that I would know if I’m a duck or an eagle. Booooo! Am scared of hospital, Dr. advises bed rest for a month!
Another fine day, I call her up and she raises a toast to what I spoke, latter did I realize what I spoke ‘hi, hello, how are you. Hope all well there, here all in the well too’!
Yet another day, I call her she say’s she busy with her ‘mother-in-law’ in some engagement ceremony!
I call her up the same day evening and she asks me to come to Indoor stadium for badminton. She tells me ‘Run every day, you are no good for game’. “I go for runnings these days as well as coaching’s, to improve my pathetic form and Dr., I may soon die from having no air to breathe”!
I call her and she ask me to write down a poem about her and in reply I get Dear @#$%, Go to!#@#@98*&^, you dumb %)*&^W)*&. @#”*(! &^E. >) @!)!@*&^(*!&#!M<<,:.!
I call her she say’s lets meet over a coffee. While having coffee I ask for sugar and lo! She says no sugar for me and tells me that she’s got a ‘call’.
Mother Mary – please save me. She now says she is a new leaf. What do I do?
Meeting my Dr. without permission, I mean without an appointment does not seem to be a nice idea for a gentle man like me on a Sunday that too on Women’s day.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Kaloo and 360 Degree ka Chuhaaa
1am, B-1/18 Hauz Khaz– a December late night. Pattu bhai is under his chadaai learning the text and texting in his mobile, haathi his room partner is cursing the author of the text book and blasting Pattu bhai for his wrong choice in selection of text book. He now head towards kitchen for a small snack his third dinner in the last 3 hour!
Mangae ram is in his national costume strolling around munching fruits, making calls to all the so called ‘toppers’ of the class to understand the syllabus. Foonti his room mate is busy collecting ‘Wills’ packets and making multiple copy of his hall tickets and lo! By morning the entire syllabus is carved on ‘Wills packet’ and ‘Hall tickets’.
Ghoda is back after late night ‘fishing’ for his ‘pet project’ on the topic ‘consumer buying behavior and attitude’. The sample size is one! Ghoda is our pride – trust me, while we all have dual specialization in MBA he has ‘dual-dual degree – Finance & Marketing, HR & System’ phew what a galloping power.
Kaloo our Naukar to beat the cold has just consumed ‘one goat’ making ‘Pattu bhai’ comment, if you keep eating all our goats in Delhi how will we get milk to drink. He is wrapped head to toe and often shouting out loud – silence please I am studying.
3am, our Naukar starts laughing we all rush to his room and we learn that ‘he was laughing thinking about a cow crossing his bike while he was riding’!!!
4am, Ghoda deep in sleep wakes up and blurt out to Kaloo ‘did you see the 360 degree ka chuhaa that just went out of the door’ saying this ghoda hits the bed and starts snoring. We had our share looking at our battered kaloo and must admit he is the only person still sane even after being questioned about 360 degree of chuhaa.
Mangae ram is in his national costume strolling around munching fruits, making calls to all the so called ‘toppers’ of the class to understand the syllabus. Foonti his room mate is busy collecting ‘Wills’ packets and making multiple copy of his hall tickets and lo! By morning the entire syllabus is carved on ‘Wills packet’ and ‘Hall tickets’.
Ghoda is back after late night ‘fishing’ for his ‘pet project’ on the topic ‘consumer buying behavior and attitude’. The sample size is one! Ghoda is our pride – trust me, while we all have dual specialization in MBA he has ‘dual-dual degree – Finance & Marketing, HR & System’ phew what a galloping power.
Kaloo our Naukar to beat the cold has just consumed ‘one goat’ making ‘Pattu bhai’ comment, if you keep eating all our goats in Delhi how will we get milk to drink. He is wrapped head to toe and often shouting out loud – silence please I am studying.
3am, our Naukar starts laughing we all rush to his room and we learn that ‘he was laughing thinking about a cow crossing his bike while he was riding’!!!
4am, Ghoda deep in sleep wakes up and blurt out to Kaloo ‘did you see the 360 degree ka chuhaa that just went out of the door’ saying this ghoda hits the bed and starts snoring. We had our share looking at our battered kaloo and must admit he is the only person still sane even after being questioned about 360 degree of chuhaa.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Bhatinda Tales
It’s around 0000hours and my eyes are in 00 state. ‘Her Excellency of Bhatinda’ says it’s been a royally boring Sunny Sunday – all she did was sleeping like a royal oak, eating like hell and watching 4 theatre shows back to back. She now starts appearing in various forms. She booms in the voice of Chambal ki Rani – sing a song – else I would feed you to the ‘Highway robbers of Gurgaon’ so I become her Tanzen and all nursery rhymes come to my rescue now. She now feels she is Alice and ask me come lets go for a walk. She now feels she is Cinderella and asks the mirror– ‘mirror mirror who is the most beautiful and smart’ mirror says it’s a lady from the east-west. Her majesty simmers and next what I remember is myself in Gurgaon highway minus my brain and Whoosh I land at a hospital.
My Dr on hearing my interesting tale instructs me to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink it. "How does it taste?" Dr asks me. "Awful," and spat poor me. Dr. Then asks me to take another handful of salt and put it in the bucket. Dr. Now asks me to drink from the bucket and asks “how does it taste?” Not bad says me. "Do you taste the salt?" Dr asks me and pat came my reply “No”.
My Dr sat beside me, took her hands, and said, “The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same. But the amount we taste the 'pain' depends on the container we put it into. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things, "Stop being a glass. Become a bucket!"
Not a bad idea to be a bucket for the smartest and most beautiful - 'Her Majesty the royal Excellency of Bhatinda', thank you Dr.
My Dr on hearing my interesting tale instructs me to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink it. "How does it taste?" Dr asks me. "Awful," and spat poor me. Dr. Then asks me to take another handful of salt and put it in the bucket. Dr. Now asks me to drink from the bucket and asks “how does it taste?” Not bad says me. "Do you taste the salt?" Dr asks me and pat came my reply “No”.
My Dr sat beside me, took her hands, and said, “The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same. But the amount we taste the 'pain' depends on the container we put it into. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things, "Stop being a glass. Become a bucket!"
Not a bad idea to be a bucket for the smartest and most beautiful - 'Her Majesty the royal Excellency of Bhatinda', thank you Dr.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
You and SUV
You are light but at the same time powerful (appearance is deceptive and similar to a SUV),
You are sophisticated but at the same time adaptable to rough and tough terrain (Similar to a SUV),
You are with expensive taste and not easy to maintain (running cost high, high fuel consumption similar to a SUV),
You have a small and powerful heart (Engine of SUV also powerful),
You have off road and on road capability (I here have the fear of 'shooting stars falling on my back {ollakka's too}'),
You I likes and SUV I likes.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
What on Earth
The other day oooops I mean on Valentine’s Day, here come’s our ‘barometer lady’. Jahankar beat’s, Rock on well its not the movies that I watched it was the state of my heart, 4 chambers recovering from ‘by pass surgery’. This time ‘barometer lady’ had not carried along with her the ‘barometer’, that made me even more anxious, scared and what on earth am I to do now!
Lighting struck and there was thunder, well it was her smile and laughter. With a gentle rumble she asks me – ‘What on Earth’ and floats across the sky.
My pain is back again. I remember my Dr. ICC. After our check up and consultation she says – ‘By pass’ vis-à-vis ‘Angioplasty’ there is your answer – What on Earth.
Lighting struck and there was thunder, well it was her smile and laughter. With a gentle rumble she asks me – ‘What on Earth’ and floats across the sky.
My pain is back again. I remember my Dr. ICC. After our check up and consultation she says – ‘By pass’ vis-à-vis ‘Angioplasty’ there is your answer – What on Earth.
Friday, February 13, 2009
I don’t understand!!!
22nd Dec - With Christmas and New Year around the corner, work was at a frenetic phase and that too when you have had 4 bosses in one year perhaps ‘Raajkumar’ trying out LMX (Leader-Member Exchange). Pavlov (Dog), Skinner (mice), Men (Hawthorne), Ken (Whale) and xxxxx (Jijid). Hold on for a while for unrevealing of xxxxx and how Jijid got into ().
It was close to close of business hours and a call on my extension (Stimulus) made be rush (Response) to my boss’ cage, oops I mean cabin. Jijid, please meet this lady who is going to partner with us to develop an ‘ingenious barometer’ seeing my blank face he said that it’s something that’s similar to thermometer or a barometer, I would like you to help her. Boss being Type-A and me not to be in his Theory-Y books said – Yes boss. I told the barometer lady ‘Chal Kopchae mein’ which for me in English meant comes let’s go the last room in the office for discussion. I was in praise of my boss but I still don’t know which motivation theory had he used to make me give half an hour to this ‘barometer lady’.
23rd Dec – The barometer lady was given an hour but we went on and on (Expert power). For 3 hours she was asking me question for 11 sec and I was answering them for 11 min. I was supposed to see my Dentist the evening but then the pain went off, the body stiffness by playing football was no more; the entire organization now looks to me to be a perfect 9, 9. Thanks to the ‘Barometer lady’ for measuring my pain and doing a ‘by pass surgery’.
xxxxx (Jijid)
‘xxxxx’ the ‘barometer lady’ and (Jijid) the laboratory specimen.
It was close to close of business hours and a call on my extension (Stimulus) made be rush (Response) to my boss’ cage, oops I mean cabin. Jijid, please meet this lady who is going to partner with us to develop an ‘ingenious barometer’ seeing my blank face he said that it’s something that’s similar to thermometer or a barometer, I would like you to help her. Boss being Type-A and me not to be in his Theory-Y books said – Yes boss. I told the barometer lady ‘Chal Kopchae mein’ which for me in English meant comes let’s go the last room in the office for discussion. I was in praise of my boss but I still don’t know which motivation theory had he used to make me give half an hour to this ‘barometer lady’.
23rd Dec – The barometer lady was given an hour but we went on and on (Expert power). For 3 hours she was asking me question for 11 sec and I was answering them for 11 min. I was supposed to see my Dentist the evening but then the pain went off, the body stiffness by playing football was no more; the entire organization now looks to me to be a perfect 9, 9. Thanks to the ‘Barometer lady’ for measuring my pain and doing a ‘by pass surgery’.
xxxxx (Jijid)
‘xxxxx’ the ‘barometer lady’ and (Jijid) the laboratory specimen.
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