Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Coffee with Vidya Balan

Movie : Josh
Singer : Asha Bhosle
Song : Sunil Shetty in Sundara Sundara
Location : Vellore
Politician : Rajeev Gandhi, Biju Patnaik
Hero : Akshay Khanna
Heroine : Deepika Padukone
Industrialist : Navin Jindal
Theory : Charles Darwin theory of evolution
Best pal : Manjuri Jaiswal
Vehicle : Pillion driver on a zero emission space stick
Bowler : Manoj Prabhakaran
Pet : Doberman
Pass time : PJ
Food : Shapeless and odorless Parantha
Sportsperson : Abhinav Bindra
Phrase : It takes one to know one

Not sure whose coffee was spiked - Mine or Vidya Balans!!!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Jajantaram Mamantaram – Professional Ethics!

First time in The Capital and having time to kill, strolling in peak summer of June takes our Hero to Jajantaram Mamantaram. Impeccable dressing – full sleeves, formal trousers. Hero takes a break to catch a free ‘live show’. Out of no where comes our Heroine – ‘Do you mind if I sit here for a while’?

Hero’s adrenalin shoots up, girls they just don’t leave me! 'Hi, I am your hero, new to the city, waiting for a friend and am a smart Engineer with a good meow meow score'. Heroine moves more closely and so goes on the kichi kichi script reading minus screen play.

Our modern Heroine places her hand on our Hero’s thigh, ‘take out your wallet’, ‘why for what’, ‘just for all the fun’ and our Heroine has crossed the acceptable cultural barrier. Hero moves tries to move away she tightens her grip. ‘Don’t be a smart boy, understand that this is my zone and see my people, if I shout, you know very well what would happen to you’.

Heroine sweeps clean the wallet of currency note, deaf ear to his lucky note too. Our Hero is impressed with our Heroine coz she gave him back 50Rs. Just enough to take a rickshaw to his place and also gives him a parting advise as of where to get a rick from and please don’t be a actor of such plays in future.


Tail Piece: - My heart goes on…

Saturday, August 1, 2009

The scarf on a lap top bag...

Saturday – Tandav dance of an isotope of aluminum

I agree with you but I don’t agree with you, this idea seems to be fine and that doesn’t seem to be fine, I am sure this gels with our topic don’t you feel so, we are running short of time and you need to make it fast, we need to find dress for the occasion do you expect me to do all the same, don’t expect me to be in traditional and better you too refrain, we need to print - this font and color is what I like. Click click follows…

Sunday – Tandav dance once again

I seriously didn’t like what you have done. You need my permission not just to give my click click away but also to show it to any one. Hymns of apology fill the air but all but all I could hear was the belligerent grrrrrrr grrrrr….

I could not keep my eye of the vitamin D source, Hey shonaa Hey shonaa. Upon deeper observation lo! I find our grrr grrr in all smiles.

Isotopes walk of the coffee bar and my N factor deduced the fact - the scarf that was on the laptop bag was now on grrr grrr, Chippi used to run over me and be close to me until the collar was on Chippi. Chippi was my Doberman…

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

"The Memory" - 0 and 1

Where are the details that I have asked you? Have you checked? Have you made an attempt? I now remember - “recollection”.

Next few days were spent working on chemical formulas. Puff puff I was left gasping with no O2. Lack of O3 was perhaps causing my body turn red. Never did I learn so much of chemistry and never knew “Aluminums” can have isotopes!!

Later in the day did I knew that I was taught to bake and eat the humble pie all alone, damn “That which is remembered”.

Soul searching – solution – Vipassanā but then “the memory” says I can’t let my pharynx be idle and I came up with solution of 0 and 1.

Can’t one have his pharynx rested and use 0 and 1 for couple of days???

Can one challenge the second source of authority for Dharma or the one that has the memories of wisdom that our great ancestors have passed through generations.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Rain Thought

The great grand old man(not iron) of our company(not India) had asked me to wait till 9pm to clear off his pending work and lo! it starts raining, I had an appointment with Dr at 9.30pm and now how do I make it? Without thinking much I pack from office escaping the clutches of the ever green banyan tree.

Puff Puff and here I come across

Someone - Why could you not carry an umbrella with you
This one - You will fall ill and only then would you realise
That one - You could have waited till the rain stopped
Which one -You could have asked your roomate for help
Somebody - You could have asked your boss for a drop

But my Dr, who was waiting with a towel asked the rain
You could have waited till my patient reached me.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

A Call, A Girl and A Dr.

8th March, Sunday, 11am, I drag myself out from bed, picking up newspaper. What’s wrong with the supplement pages – photographs of women from cross section of society, yes it Women’s day and I was flipping through women’s day special supplement.

Whoosh – it reminds me of her. We got introduced over a social networking site. Click click click follows and even more click click lucky me, what a ‘horse power smile’, all if rated were not to be less than 8.5 out of 10. Thud Thud dap dap dape thud thud thud I’m floored and on the floor, Dr. suggest an ancient therapy involving eye ‘SAVE’ for coming out of my current state of Twist and Perplexion (W&M syndrome in Dr.'s language)!

One fine day I call her and she says, let’s join for Salsa classes from tomorrow, butterfly in my stomach but I dare not say ‘No’ to the salsa classes. I take solace that I would know if I’m a duck or an eagle. Booooo! Am scared of hospital, Dr. advises bed rest for a month!

Another fine day, I call her up and she raises a toast to what I spoke, latter did I realize what I spoke ‘hi, hello, how are you. Hope all well there, here all in the well too’!

Yet another day, I call her she say’s she busy with her ‘mother-in-law’ in some engagement ceremony!

I call her up the same day evening and she asks me to come to Indoor stadium for badminton. She tells me ‘Run every day, you are no good for game’. “I go for runnings these days as well as coaching’s, to improve my pathetic form and Dr., I may soon die from having no air to breathe”!

I call her and she ask me to write down a poem about her and in reply I get Dear @#$%, Go to!#@#@98*&^, you dumb %)*&^W)*&. @#”*(! &^E. >) @!)!@*&^(*!&#!M<<,:.!

I call her she say’s lets meet over a coffee. While having coffee I ask for sugar and lo! She says no sugar for me and tells me that she’s got a ‘call’.

Mother Mary – please save me. She now says she is a new leaf. What do I do?

Meeting my Dr. without permission, I mean without an appointment does not seem to be a nice idea for a gentle man like me on a Sunday that too on Women’s day.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Kaloo and 360 Degree ka Chuhaaa

1am, B-1/18 Hauz Khaz– a December late night. Pattu bhai is under his chadaai learning the text and texting in his mobile, haathi his room partner is cursing the author of the text book and blasting Pattu bhai for his wrong choice in selection of text book. He now head towards kitchen for a small snack his third dinner in the last 3 hour!

Mangae ram is in his national costume strolling around munching fruits, making calls to all the so called ‘toppers’ of the class to understand the syllabus. Foonti his room mate is busy collecting ‘Wills’ packets and making multiple copy of his hall tickets and lo! By morning the entire syllabus is carved on ‘Wills packet’ and ‘Hall tickets’.

Ghoda is back after late night ‘fishing’ for his ‘pet project’ on the topic ‘consumer buying behavior and attitude’. The sample size is one! Ghoda is our pride – trust me, while we all have dual specialization in MBA he has ‘dual-dual degree – Finance & Marketing, HR & System’ phew what a galloping power.

Kaloo our Naukar to beat the cold has just consumed ‘one goat’ making ‘Pattu bhai’ comment, if you keep eating all our goats in Delhi how will we get milk to drink. He is wrapped head to toe and often shouting out loud – silence please I am studying.

3am, our Naukar starts laughing we all rush to his room and we learn that ‘he was laughing thinking about a cow crossing his bike while he was riding’!!!

4am, Ghoda deep in sleep wakes up and blurt out to Kaloo ‘did you see the 360 degree ka chuhaa that just went out of the door’ saying this ghoda hits the bed and starts snoring. We had our share looking at our battered kaloo and must admit he is the only person still sane even after being questioned about 360 degree of chuhaa.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Bhatinda Tales

It’s around 0000hours and my eyes are in 00 state. ‘Her Excellency of Bhatinda’ says it’s been a royally boring Sunny Sunday – all she did was sleeping like a royal oak, eating like hell and watching 4 theatre shows back to back. She now starts appearing in various forms. She booms in the voice of Chambal ki Rani – sing a song – else I would feed you to the ‘Highway robbers of Gurgaon’ so I become her Tanzen and all nursery rhymes come to my rescue now. She now feels she is Alice and ask me come lets go for a walk. She now feels she is Cinderella and asks the mirror– ‘mirror mirror who is the most beautiful and smart’ mirror says it’s a lady from the east-west. Her majesty simmers and next what I remember is myself in Gurgaon highway minus my brain and Whoosh I land at a hospital.

My Dr on hearing my interesting tale instructs me to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink it. "How does it taste?" Dr asks me. "Awful," and spat poor me. Dr. Then asks me to take another handful of salt and put it in the bucket. Dr. Now asks me to drink from the bucket and asks “how does it taste?” Not bad says me. "Do you taste the salt?" Dr asks me and pat came my reply “No”.

My Dr sat beside me, took her hands, and said, “The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same. But the amount we taste the 'pain' depends on the container we put it into. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things, "Stop being a glass. Become a bucket!"

Not a bad idea to be a bucket for the smartest and most beautiful - 'Her Majesty the royal Excellency of Bhatinda', thank you Dr.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

You and SUV

You are light but at the same time powerful (appearance is deceptive and similar to a SUV),

You are sophisticated but at the same time adaptable to rough and tough terrain (Similar to a SUV),

You are with expensive taste and not easy to maintain (running cost high, high fuel consumption similar to a SUV),

You have a small and powerful heart (Engine of SUV also powerful),

You have off road and on road capability (I here have the fear of 'shooting stars falling on my back {ollakka's too}'),

You I likes and SUV I likes.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

What on Earth

The other day oooops I mean on Valentine’s Day, here come’s our ‘barometer lady’. Jahankar beat’s, Rock on well its not the movies that I watched it was the state of my heart, 4 chambers recovering from ‘by pass surgery’. This time ‘barometer lady’ had not carried along with her the ‘barometer’, that made me even more anxious, scared and what on earth am I to do now!

Lighting struck and there was thunder, well it was her smile and laughter. With a gentle rumble she asks me – ‘What on Earth’ and floats across the sky.

My pain is back again. I remember my Dr. ICC. After our check up and consultation she says – ‘By pass’ vis-à-vis ‘Angioplasty’ there is your answer – What on Earth.

Friday, February 13, 2009

I don’t understand!!!

22nd Dec - With Christmas and New Year around the corner, work was at a frenetic phase and that too when you have had 4 bosses in one year perhaps ‘Raajkumar’ trying out LMX (Leader-Member Exchange). Pavlov (Dog), Skinner (mice), Men (Hawthorne), Ken (Whale) and xxxxx (Jijid). Hold on for a while for unrevealing of xxxxx and how Jijid got into ().

It was close to close of business hours and a call on my extension (Stimulus) made be rush (Response) to my boss’ cage, oops I mean cabin. Jijid, please meet this lady who is going to partner with us to develop an ‘ingenious barometer’ seeing my blank face he said that it’s something that’s similar to thermometer or a barometer, I would like you to help her. Boss being Type-A and me not to be in his Theory-Y books said – Yes boss. I told the barometer lady ‘Chal Kopchae mein’ which for me in English meant comes let’s go the last room in the office for discussion. I was in praise of my boss but I still don’t know which motivation theory had he used to make me give half an hour to this ‘barometer lady’.

23rd Dec – The barometer lady was given an hour but we went on and on (Expert power). For 3 hours she was asking me question for 11 sec and I was answering them for 11 min. I was supposed to see my Dentist the evening but then the pain went off, the body stiffness by playing football was no more; the entire organization now looks to me to be a perfect 9, 9. Thanks to the ‘Barometer lady’ for measuring my pain and doing a ‘by pass surgery’.

xxxxx (Jijid)

‘xxxxx’ the ‘barometer lady’ and (Jijid) the laboratory specimen.

Monday, February 2, 2009

#Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

It’s been a decade, have I lost her, how do I trace her, Where is she. Just can’t believe that this would happen to me, yes it’s about the girl in my life.

Our first meeting was at a Railway platform, we were meeting again after we left school 12 years ago. I had never spoken to her while in school but she knew inside out of me, my likes, dislikes, my preferences, my friends, my family the dress I wore on 7th Jan, the shoe I wore on 18th March etc. I was floored thud thud thapae thud thud thud!!!

We decided that we would get married soon; preparations were underway but my one trip to Gurgaon late in the night changed my life for ever. Our arch rivals (Parents) could achieve ‘expectation surpass’ in their result orientation with execution excellence in separating us.

Life change’s – I started running looking for her, and am still running, that’s remind me of Aarti Shetty who floored me running in Mumbai Marathon. I have done advance courses in Photography that reminds me of Neha. I have no less than 4 pack abs that reminds me of Meghana. My fear of driving two wheeler is all gone, my fear of traveling by air is no more, and I am no longer an Introvert – thanks to Vijay Mallya for Kingfisher airlines.

Friends, could you please help me find my love, well her name is oops I just cant recollect her name, hold on let me check my mobile, oh no its missing, wait I’ll get her name through my camera but that too is missing. Wait let me go to the changing room and take off my shirt for the scar that would refresh my memory.

Is this Gajini inspired or is this the inspiration for Gajini

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Copy Cat Aamir – Inspired by M Factor

Why should I blog? That too when it took just 2 months for someone to visit and comment.
1995 - Tare Zameen Par and Ghajini my friends say was inspired by me, Aamir consider your selves lucky that I didn’t sue you for royalty payment. From child hood people often comment that - I have difficulty in organizing, coordinating words, Phobia towards Integration and Differentiation, unable to understand top view, side view and isometric projection making my Engineering graphic lecture grants me 100% attendance for not entering his class.

Enter The M Factor. She is taller than the pack, she pretty and my best friend’s – Friend. And her best friend my ‘special friend’ lolzzzzzzzzz those those where the best days of my life. ‘Mango tree’ – was no wonder my favorite tree as you all agree Mango is the king of fruit. M Factor’s friend turned the Hero from TZP and Ghajini into a wining hero of Jo Jeeta Wohi Zikandar. I am still running – thanks to M factor and her athlete friend.

2008 – After a gap of 13 years, when Aamir is raking money by commercialization and adaptation of our 1995’s Hero tales. Our hero of 1995 makes an identity online (blog), but more than 2 months no comment, no viewer, he is about to give up and lo! Here come the M factor with a maiden comment – ‘Dude you can do better than this and waiting expectantly for your next post’

2021 – After a gap of 13 years, Aamir still growing younger (60+) is set to release his next block buster with a Heroine of 16 year of age, the story again inspired by the tale of our hero of 2008.

Malini – the M factor – my friend where are you?