Bhatinda Tales

It’s around 0000hours and my eyes are in 00 state. ‘Her Excellency of Bhatinda’ says it’s been a royally boring Sunny Sunday – all she did was sleeping like a royal oak, eating like hell and watching 4 theatre shows back to back. She now starts appearing in various forms. She booms in the voice of Chambal ki Rani – sing a song – else I would feed you to the ‘Highway robbers of Gurgaon’ so I become her Tanzen and all nursery rhymes come to my rescue now. She now feels she is Alice and ask me come lets go for a walk. She now feels she is Cinderella and asks the mirror– ‘mirror mirror who is the most beautiful and smart’ mirror says it’s a lady from the east-west. Her majesty simmers and next what I remember is myself in Gurgaon highway minus my brain and Whoosh I land at a hospital.

My Dr on hearing my interesting tale instructs me to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink it. "How does it taste?" Dr asks me. "Awful," and spat poor me. Dr. Then asks me to take another handful of salt and put it in the bucket. Dr. Now asks me to drink from the bucket and asks “how does it taste?” Not bad says me. "Do you taste the salt?" Dr asks me and pat came my reply “No”.

My Dr sat beside me, took her hands, and said, “The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same. But the amount we taste the 'pain' depends on the container we put it into. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things, "Stop being a glass. Become a bucket!"

Not a bad idea to be a bucket for the smartest and most beautiful - 'Her Majesty the royal Excellency of Bhatinda', thank you Dr.

You and SUV

You are light but at the same time powerful (appearance is deceptive and similar to a SUV),

You are sophisticated but at the same time adaptable to rough and tough terrain (Similar to a SUV),

You are with expensive taste and not easy to maintain (running cost high, high fuel consumption similar to a SUV),

You have a small and powerful heart (Engine of SUV also powerful),

You have off road and on road capability (I here have the fear of 'shooting stars falling on my back {ollakka's too}'),

You I likes and SUV I likes.

What on Earth

The other day oooops I mean on Valentine’s Day, here come’s our ‘barometer lady’. Jahankar beat’s, Rock on well its not the movies that I watched it was the state of my heart, 4 chambers recovering from ‘by pass surgery’. This time ‘barometer lady’ had not carried along with her the ‘barometer’, that made me even more anxious, scared and what on earth am I to do now!

Lighting struck and there was thunder, well it was her smile and laughter. With a gentle rumble she asks me – ‘What on Earth’ and floats across the sky.

My pain is back again. I remember my Dr. ICC. After our check up and consultation she says – ‘By pass’ vis-à-vis ‘Angioplasty’ there is your answer – What on Earth.

I don’t understand!!!

22nd Dec - With Christmas and New Year around the corner, work was at a frenetic phase and that too when you have had 4 bosses in one year perhaps ‘Raajkumar’ trying out LMX (Leader-Member Exchange). Pavlov (Dog), Skinner (mice), Men (Hawthorne), Ken (Whale) and xxxxx (Jijid). Hold on for a while for unrevealing of xxxxx and how Jijid got into ().

It was close to close of business hours and a call on my extension (Stimulus) made be rush (Response) to my boss’ cage, oops I mean cabin. Jijid, please meet this lady who is going to partner with us to develop an ‘ingenious barometer’ seeing my blank face he said that it’s something that’s similar to thermometer or a barometer, I would like you to help her. Boss being Type-A and me not to be in his Theory-Y books said – Yes boss. I told the barometer lady ‘Chal Kopchae mein’ which for me in English meant comes let’s go the last room in the office for discussion. I was in praise of my boss but I still don’t know which motivation theory had he used to make me give half an hour to this ‘barometer lady’.

23rd Dec – The barometer lady was given an hour but we went on and on (Expert power). For 3 hours she was asking me question for 11 sec and I was answering them for 11 min. I was supposed to see my Dentist the evening but then the pain went off, the body stiffness by playing football was no more; the entire organization now looks to me to be a perfect 9, 9. Thanks to the ‘Barometer lady’ for measuring my pain and doing a ‘by pass surgery’.

xxxxx (Jijid)

‘xxxxx’ the ‘barometer lady’ and (Jijid) the laboratory specimen.

#Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

It’s been a decade, have I lost her, how do I trace her, Where is she. Just can’t believe that this would happen to me, yes it’s about the girl in my life.

Our first meeting was at a Railway platform, we were meeting again after we left school 12 years ago. I had never spoken to her while in school but she knew inside out of me, my likes, dislikes, my preferences, my friends, my family the dress I wore on 7th Jan, the shoe I wore on 18th March etc. I was floored thud thud thapae thud thud thud!!!

We decided that we would get married soon; preparations were underway but my one trip to Gurgaon late in the night changed my life for ever. Our arch rivals (Parents) could achieve ‘expectation surpass’ in their result orientation with execution excellence in separating us.

Life change’s – I started running looking for her, and am still running, that’s remind me of Aarti Shetty who floored me running in Mumbai Marathon. I have done advance courses in Photography that reminds me of Neha. I have no less than 4 pack abs that reminds me of Meghana. My fear of driving two wheeler is all gone, my fear of traveling by air is no more, and I am no longer an Introvert – thanks to Vijay Mallya for Kingfisher airlines.

Friends, could you please help me find my love, well her name is oops I just cant recollect her name, hold on let me check my mobile, oh no its missing, wait I’ll get her name through my camera but that too is missing. Wait let me go to the changing room and take off my shirt for the scar that would refresh my memory.

Is this Gajini inspired or is this the inspiration for Gajini